In search of simplicity...

Originally posted 2/6/2009, transferred from other blog

One resolution I have made recently is to strive for more simplicity in my life. At present, I have a number of habits that counteract that goal:

• I am a packrat of the worst variety. I hoard every paper, e-mail, or object for fear that I might need it later. This means an ever-growing pile of things that I don't need and that take up room.
• I am also a procrastinator. Why do the tasks that I actually need to do when I could surf the net or play Flash games online, right? This tendency, combined with the one above, adds to the clutter in my life. For example, when I get mail (bank statements, credit card bills, junk mail, etc.), I tend to just throw it into a pile and forget about it. This means that, several months later, I have to go on a mass purging that I never want to do because it's so unpleasant. And the pile grows and grows.
• I tend to hold onto the past. I find myself continuing to be mad at guys who jilted me several months ago, college and high school acquaintances who were asses to me, and even family members whose decisions I feel were not in my best interests.
• If a new activity or opportunity arises, then I feel like I simply must do it...unless, of course, it's something that'd actually benefit me career-wise or life-wise. Haha!

In short, I have a tendency to welcome various forms of clutter and complication into my life which accumulates and causes me annoyance and stress later on. Plus, all that clutter tends to have a rather demoralizing effect on my mood. (NOTE: When I say "clutter," I mean not only physical objects but also issues and drama, as well.) I always want to be free of that, and I sometimes make inroads but never permanent ones.

I recently started reading this blog called Zen Habits, and I have found lots of its advice very helpful. Even if I don't follow the specific tips, the inspiration factor is itself amazing. I have been inspired to do a number of things:

• Go through that pile of mail and, this time, keep it from ever growing again.
• Get rid of all but two credit cards.
• Switch to paperless bills and bank statements. (I.e., through e-mail)
• Mass purge of my e-mail inbox--also stop being an e-mail packrat
• Organize, well, everything. Reduce clutter. Increase the amount of floor space in my room.
• Let go of past hurts and resentment; avoid toxic people, and others who might bring me down. (That is, reducing mental clutter and human clutter.)
• Simpler ideas for meals and snacks. Including making more food in bulk in advance--perhaps taking advantage of my freezer space.

These are just a few of the things I have started doing and want to do in my life to de-clutter it. There are other things I'd like to do in the long term, such as embracing some degree of minimalism in terms of the actual amount of stuff I have. I think that'd make my life even better. As scatter-brained as I am, I think minimalism of some sort would be very beneficial to me, indeed! We'll see...

The Joy of Energy Healing

Originally posted 2/2/2009, transferred from other blog

For the unaware: Reiki is a Japanese energy healing method that involves the practitioner laying his/her hands on the client in order to channel "universal life force energy" into that person for healing (physical or mental/emotional) or just for general well-being. For more detailed info, please see this site.

I've already had Reiki I for several months now, after my training back in spring of 2008. It basically allowed me to transmit energy to others by the laying on of hands. (Not unlike what happens in some Christian churches.) Over the past week, I've had two classes in Reiki II, day-long classes on 1/25 and today (2/1). I already am getting benefit from it. I feel as if my Reiki energy is more powerful and, therefore, more helpful to myself and others. In addition, I can now do serious mental/emotional healing and distance healing. That's right, you can transmit Reiki energy to others (and yourself) from a distance and into the past and future.

I think I will find this particularly useful for helping friends whom I cannot necessarily see in person and for giving mental/emotional healing to myself and others. I look forward to seeing what I am able to accomplish with this new level of Reiki. Wish me luck! :-)

Just started spinning

Originally posted 2/2/2009, transferred from other blog

I had my first spinning lesson last Wednesday (1/28) at Mind's Eye Yarns in Cambridge. It was pretty good, too. The instructor is really smart and knows what she's doing. She introduced me to the basic technique with Romney wool, which is great for beginners, and showed me some other tricks as well. I also seemed to pick it up fairly easily and was spinning decent, if thin, yarn by the end of the lesson. I ended up staying for the knitting group.

At the end of the night, I paid for my lesson, the spindle, and four ounces of the Romney wool. I’ve only done a few yards of this so far, but I’m enjoying it. Once I’m done with it (spinning and plying), I may kool-aid dye it or something. It’s not the prettiest ever, but by damn, it’s mine! ;-)

Once I have moved on from spinning Romney wool, my next goals include merino wool and cotton. (Since I'm from Mississippi and have family members in agriculture, it might be possible for me to obtain cotton in bulk at relatively low rates...) I'd also like to do things with alpaca and cashmere fibers. Honestly, though, what excites me even more than the type of fiber I'm using is what I can do with it in terms of bulk and color. I'm already imagining what I could do with dyes...

Don't worry, you will hear more about my spinning adventures!

DIY more expensive?

Originally posted 1/25/2009, transferred from other blog

What is the world coming to when it is actually more, rather than less, expensive to make something yourself instead of purchasing it? I learned this a couple of weeks ago when I made an inquiry about spinning on Ravelry. My specific question was as follows:

I really like the idea of spinning. Not only does it seem like a quaint and appealing practice that brings you closer to the earth, but I also like the idea of being able to make the kinda yarn I want, instead of settling for what someone else has already thought of.

However, this leaves me with one question: Is spinning economical? That is, would it save me money to make my yarn myself, or am I better off buying $4-6 skeins online or at craft stores? Should I consider seriously spinning my own darn yarn (lol) on a regular basis, or should I just buy my yarn most of the time and treat spinning as a hobby or occasional diversion?

Thank you for your time!

If you, too, are on Ravelry, then click here for the whole thread. Basically, the responses were varied, sometimes suggesting that it could be economical but mostly that it would be more expensive than buying mass-produced, millspun yarn. One poster specifically indicated that she could buy things for much less than making it herself, that she did it only for the enjoyment of it.

Later, I mentioned this to my very left-wing roommate, who pointed out the role of cheap labor. Workers are not paid decently for the amount of work they do, and this translates into cheap, mass-produced goods. Moreover, raw and unprocessed materials are so difficult to come by, it becomes easier to just go to the store and buy something.

This just goes to show how pernicious capitalism is, that it would be able to take away from us the joy of do-it-yourself and that special connection to the items you use. It has made us a society dependent on big business and hard-pressed to create lives outside of its influence.

It's not just yarn and knitting, either. It's more expensive to buy organic and fresh foods than it is to get some unhealthy processed foods. It's more expensive to get fair trade goods than it is to buy something mass-produced with unfair labor practices. This is how we get trapped in an unjust and dehumanizing system.

Personally, I do make some efforts to avoid this. I knit and crochet, and may start spinning soon. I try to use fresh and organic foods when I can. I also try to buy "fair trade" whenever it's available. Of course, even that requires dough. I am lucky enough to be able to afford to do these things, to some extent. Others do not have the means and are stuck with mass-produced even more so.

I can help but hope that there may one day be some way to promote sustainable lifestyles where do-it-yourself, organic food, fair trade, and other such things can be more than a hobby or luxury. That's what deliberate and sustainable lifestyles are for...

Steel Magnolias or Heathers?

Originally posted 1/21/2009, transferred from other blog

This is an expression of my lingering discontent with the queer community -- well, really, the gay male community -- and the way it's members treat each other. Specifically, I am speaking of the way all queer persons, including and especially gay men, should be treating each other...versus the way we generally do treat other.

To put it quite briefly: I came out of the closet and into the gay community expecting Steel Magnolias; what I got was Heathers.

Steel Magnolias told the story of five strong and vivacious Southern women who supported each other through thick and thin, celebrating with each other through the good times and supporting each other through the bad. Sometimes they laughed with each other, sometimes they argued with each other, but always they nurtured each other.

This is what I wanted -- and naïvely thought I'd find -- when I found my way into the gay community. Having grown up in a heteronormative society, and in a particularly heterosexist culture (the Deep South, specifically Mississippi), I wanted nothing more to find a community of people who could and would understand and support me -- and me them. We share the misfortune of being in a heteronormative and often heterosexist society, and it is only rational that we should band together and be a source of safety and comfort to one another.

Did this happen? Not exactly. While I did make lots of GLBT friends, and continue to do so as time goes on, I had a lot of negative experiences with the gay male community in particular.

Heathers is a movie about a high-school clique, a group of popular girls who not only lord their social status over their fellow students and treat them like garbage but also undermine and backstab each other in the process. This is largely what I've seen from the gay male community.

• I have had other gay guys be catty to me and try to wreck me emotionally simply because I was there and an easy target.
• I have been shunned by other gay men for being too openly gay, for being too political, for being insufficiently masculine or "in shape," for not looking like the guys in the Abercrombie and Fitch catalogues, for not being outgoing enough, for , for , for
• I have been told by other gay men that I am ugly, undateable, unworthy, un-this, un-that.
• I have heard stories from non-white gay male friends about being subject to racism in the largely white-dominated gay community.
• I have seen entirely too many gay personal ads that say "no fats, flamers, or fems" and other stuff like that, with no immediately evident recognition of these people's basic human value.
• I have seen too many mainstream gay magazines and gay films whose models and actors are always conventionally attractive.

Last, and perhaps most important and unfortunate, I have sometimes allowed this to affect my own self-image -- actually starting to see myself the way that I imagine other gay men see me. Thinking I'm unattractive even though I have a cute face, an acceptable body, and fairly decent fashion sense -- and, quite frankly, am pretty doggone adorable! ;-) Thinking I am undateable even though I possess a number of positive personal characteristics, substantial intelligence, and a good heart. Thinking I need to change myself to find happiness when all I really need is to find the various blessings that Allah (a.k.a. "God," "Jehovah," etc.) has placed in this world for me.

I want to get mad at someone. Should I get mad at the specific people (gay men and others) who have mistreated me and other fellow gay men? Should I get mad at the gay male community as a whole for engendering/condoning/allowing this? Should I get mad at society itself for turning so many gay men into such horrible creatures, into Heathers with Y-chromosomes? Should I get mad only at myself for having ever allowed anyone -- be it a homophobe or a nasty, catty gay man -- to make me feel less than I truly am?

I have to blame society in part. As many of my friends have pointed out, growing up gay means being subjected to a number of negative and damaging emotional experiences, and all of these nasty attitudes and behaviors on the parts of gay men can be seen as a defensive maneuver. If you have been told you are inferior or unworthy, then convince yourself that you are superior, worthier, and entitled to special treatment and benefits -- while everyone else, including and especially your fellow gay men, are to be treated as inferior. By treating others selfishly and nastily, you are thereby confirming the status of superiority you have assigned to yourself. Google the term "narcissism" or "narcissistic personality disorder" and you are likely to find a number of sources identifying low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy as possible root causes.

Understanding it, however, is not sufficient to erase or counteract its effects. No matter how many people tell me, or how many times I tell myself, that I am an incredible, beautiful human being, there will always be the nagging voices lingering in my head that want me to believe otherwise, hoping to increase their own worth by diminishing my worth and anyone else's that they can reach.

No, what we need is something more profound from the GLBT community more broadly and from gay men specifically. Something like a commitment to make Steel Magnolias a reality for us all and to put the Heathers of the gay community in their place. Creating a world where every young gay boy coming out of the closet can find that supportive network of people who will help him to be the best darned homo he can be!

When someone figures out how to accomplish that, please let me know. For the moment, just take a moment to talk to some of your friends about this; plant a seed, if nothing else.

Sniffles for Palestine

Originally posted 1/18/2009, transferred from other blog

Last night, I went with several others to the Israeli Consulate in Boston to protest Israel's actions in Gaza over the past few months. It was cold as hell, but I was willing to endure it for the cause. I had made a poster earlier in the day, in Arabic and reinforced with wooden dowels:

The sign reads, "Peace and the mercy and blessings of Allah be upon Gaza. Oh, Allah, the Giver of Peace, the Protector!" I made it mostly for the benefit of the Palestinians in attendance because I figured they might find the message comforting.

For quite a while, we picketed outside of the consulate, holding our signs and shouting slogans. From there, we marched to the state house and, then, to Government Center. In both places, we stopped and heard speeches. It was so uplifting to see people standing up for what's right and speaking truth to power.

Many of us, including me, nearly froze into popsicles in the single-digit degree weather, but it was worth it. Even the sniffles and sore throat I have today are worth it. I felt like we were making an important stand.

My only regret is that supporting Palestine and Palestinians is such a radical and marginal position in the U.S. In other countries -- even Israel, from what I hear -- it's an issue that you can debate openly and take a stand on. In the U.S., not so much. Everyone takes it for granted that Israel is this wonderful, glorious beacon of democracy in the Middle East that we have to support no matter what, and if you support the Palestinians beyond a basic show of sympathy, then there must be something wrong with you. As I've said elsewhere, it's time for the world to wake up and tell Israel "NO!"

Personal Ad

Name: Chris

Age: 26

Location: Boston, MA

Gender: Male

Orientation: Gay

Occupation: Sociology Ph.D. Student

Politics: Left Libertarian

Religion: Earth-based

Contact info: AIM: smartboy17 / Yahoo IM: radical_theorist_83

About Me:
I am hoping to eventually get my PhD and build a career in alternative mental health. (Ask me if you don't know what that means.) I enjoy reading good books at coffee shops, writing stories and poetry, cooking food (especially soup and pizza), taking long walks in the city and in hiking areas, playing tennis, watching fun and interesting movies, and hanging out with friends. I have a very intellectual side to me, asking deep questions and seeking the greater, deeper meaning in everything and everyone. (People often ask me questions expecting a brief answer but get an essay instead!) I also have a very spiritual side, with a fairly active religious life. At the same time, I also have a very FUN side that enjoys joking and laughing, and low-brow humor such as Scary Movie, White Chicks, and Dumb and Dumber.

Despite being a grad student, doing research, and teaching classes…I also like to let loose, open myself up to great things, and have a good, fun time! However, that does not entail the stereotypical gay lifestyle. I do not smoke or do drugs, though I do enjoy the occasional social drink, and the club scene appeals to me very little; the only way I’m interested in going to a club is if I’m with friends. In this respect, if I were a character on Queer as Folk, I’d be Michael, not Brian. Though I do like to get out and do things, as is evident in the previous paragraph, I think I’m just a homebody (or coffeeshop-body) at heart. :-)

Obviously, as evidenced by my blog title, I enjoy yarn-crafting. I just started knitting in October 2008, and crocheting in roughly November 2008. I always hear that crocheting is easier than knitting, though I honestly have found it to be the reverse for me. I want to learn more about crochet, as well as some more advanced knitting techniques. In terms of knitting, I want to try embroidery, intarsia, and Fair Isle techniques. In terms of actual items, what I’m most interested in making right now are scarves (the only thing I’ve actually attempted), sweaters, blankets, and socks. If you check my profile, look at the project called “Christmas Scarf”; I am most proud of this one because I’ve gotten the rows straight and because I was able to execute color changes successfully.

Some things I look for in a guy’s personality:
-direction and goals in life
-a long-term outlook
-empathy
-a strong emotional side
-affectionate, passionate, and sexual (hey, a man has needs!)
-mature outlook on life
-adventurous and willing to try new things
-values long-term relationships and family
-is somehow spiritual or religious (or at least respects those impulses in others)
-values quality time together
-humility without self-deprecation

Some things I tend to like physically (but do not limit myself to):
-about my height (5’7)
-dark skin and hair (e.g., Latino, Italian, Middle Eastern, South Asian, etc.)
-slim, athletic/muscular, average, few extra pounds, OR somewhat on the chubby side
-minimal body hair

I find myself attracted to both fem guys AND masculine guys, for different reasons, and everywhere in between. I might find myself drawn to a shorter, slender, fem guy one day…and then to a taller, muscular, masculine guy in the near future! I sometimes joke that I’m really bisexual, that I simply like for my girls to be boys, too! ;-)

Sweet Tea

(Makes 1 gallon)

Materials
Gallon pitcher
Pan
Measuring cup
Mixing spoon
Tall glasses and ice

Ingredients
Water
14 Lipton tea bags (Personal size, not family size)
Two cups sugar
Pinch of baking soda

Directions

1. Heat roughly 1/3 - 1/2 of a gallon of water to boiling
2. Place 14 tea bags into the water and boil them for 5 minutes.
3. At the same time, pour two cups of sugar, 1/3 gallon of water (the colder, the better), and a pinch of baking soda into the pitcher. Stir until the tea is finished boiling.
4. When the tea has finished boiling, pour the tea into the pitcher, stirring the entire time. Squeeze any remaining tea from the bags and pour into the pitcher.
5. Fill the pitcher up to 1 gallon with cold water.
6. Cover and wait for the mixture to cool to room temperature.
7. Fill glasses with ice and pour in tea. Wait for the ice to melt a bit (roughly 5-10 minutes) to dilute the tea a bit. (Otherwise, it will be too sweet.)
8. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I did not dream up this recipe on my own. I got aspects of it (particuarly the baking soda part) from another website that I cannot yet remember...

Christmas Scarf

This scarf is -- or, rather, will be -- perfect for the winter season. The colors are your classic Christmas colors, red and green. Plus, if you choose darker shades of red and green, as I have, the Christmas-y aspect will be modest enough that you could wear it anytime at all. Even though Christmas is already over, I really, really look forward to wearing it. As you can see, it is not finished yet, but I have confidence that it will turn out great, inshallah.

Materials
Two skeins of Cascade 220, one red and one green (shades up to you)
Two size 7 needles
Scissors

Directions
1. Cast on 46 stitches using one color yarn.
2. First row: K1; p2, K2 until the last stitch; p1
3. Work the next 19 rows same as above.
4. Change to the other yarn, and work the next 20 rows same as above.
5. Change back to the previous color, working the next 20 rows the same.
6. Repeat 4 and 5 until your scarf is at the desired length.
7. Bind off in pattern and, if you have enough yarn, you may add a fringe or some other finishing touch, if you like.

NOTES: You can cast on a different (even) number of stitches, if you'd like the scarf narrower or wider. You can also make color changes more or less often, depending on how wide you want the stripes to be.

Tamarind-Tomato-Chili Soup

Tamarind-Tomato-Chili Soup

~3 lbs of meat or meat substitute
10 cups of water
One medium or large onion
Three cloves of garlic
1 packet of Knorr Tamarind Soup Base (Sinigang sa Sampalok Mix)
4 cubes or packets of boullion (according to your meat or substitute)
1 15 oz. can of stewed or diced tomatoes
1 15 oz. can of asparagus (drained)
1 15 oz. can of corn kernels (drained)
1 29 oz. can of chili beans w/ sauce (not drained)
Other veggies of choice
1-2 tsp. salt
Seasonings of choice

Directions:

Start heating water to near boiling, but not quite. *In the meantime, prepare your meat or substitute by cutting it into bite-sized pieces -- either trimming off any fat or leaving it on, depending on your preference. After trimming off the fat, you can boil it with the rest of the ingredients and remove it at the end. Also, cut the onion in half, in fourths, or even smaller, and peel and dice the garlic cloves.

Once the water is hot but not quite boiling, you can put the meat pieces, onion, and garlic into the water and let it simmer for about 10 minutes. Then, you can add the soup base, boullion, and tomatoes.

Let mixture simmer for 10 more minutes, and then add the asparagus, corn, chili beans, mushrooms, other veggies, and salt to the mix. After mixture has simmered for 10 more minutes, taste the broth and add salt, pepper, and other seasonings until the broth tastes just the way you like. (I often use Lawry's Seasoned Salt, pumpkin pie spice, and pepper.)

If you are using tofu or another meat substitue, you are finished! Otherwise, check a piece (or a few pieces) of meat to make sure it's done all the way through. If so, you are finished. If not, then let mixture simmer some more, until meat seems to be thoroughly cooked.

When finished, turn off stove and let soup sit for a while so that the flavors have time to meld into one another and so that the soup can cool to a safe, yet still very warm, temperature.

Try with a baguette, or by itself. You may also find you enjoy sipping a mug of the broth, on its own. It's that good!

NOTES:
1. Unless you're feeding a large group, you will have leftovers, which is the intention of this recipe.
2. Instead of cutting the meat up at the beginning, you can boil the whole chicken, pot roast, etc. whole for 1-1.5 hrs, remove it, drain it, cut it into smaller pieces, and put the pieces back into the mixture.
3. The other veggies are up to you. Personally, I'm partial to options like sliced mushrooms and/or fire-roasted peppers.

This version is made with tofu: