My road to Islam
I was "drawn" to Islam while studying in Jordan this past summer, when I started reading an English translation of the Qur'an, and I was very taken by the book's stream of continuous devotion to God. I was already happy in my current Christian faith, but then, Islam just entranced me. (Kinda of like you might have a favorite flavor of ice cream that you absolutely love, but then, one day, you discover a new flavor that appeals to you even more). I started to think that maybe I should be a Muslim, too.
Although I had already been confirmed in the Episcopal Church a little over a year ago and found the experience and the community to be very rewarding, the thought of making yet another conversion suddenly came into my consciousness. I mean, I was already open to Islam, and I felt that Christians and Jews everywhere should embrace al-Qur'an and the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) as legitimate and authentic sources regarding the will of God. (Even within the parameters of their own respective faiths.) I also found the Muslim conception of Jesus (pbuh) very interesting and compelling. I occasionally wondered what it'd be like to convert/revert* and whether (and, if so, how) my life would be different. When I heard the adhan (the Muslim call to prayer), a little part of me wanted to be there.
(*The use of the term "revert" reflects many Muslims' contention that we are all born in a state of "Islam"--submission to God--that is often taken from us as we are socialized with different values. Thus, when a non-Muslim chooses to embrace Islam, many of us say that s/he reverted, rather than converted--i.e., s/he reverted to his/her original state of Islam. Thus, I will use the term "revert" in most cases.)
Of course, there was still the problem that in Islam (unlike in Christianity and Judaism), it would be difficult to find Muslims supportive of me--that is, supportive of me as I am (i.e., gay and progressive), not as they'd like me to be. To that end, I checked out some progressive Muslim sites, which I find to be very positive. I was pleased to find out that it is possible to revert and maintain a progressive outlook--even more pleased to discover that there are LGBT reverts! Thus, I could be both a politically progressive gay person and Muslim, at least from that particular point of view.
There are many things I like about the Islamic conception of God, the cosmos, and life in general:
-You can have a direct and immediate relationship with God, without a mediator.
-God is as merciful as He is harsh (in contrast to Christianity--which sometimes, however inadvertently, makes God seem like kind of a jerk). Coming to realize more about God's merciful nature (ar-Rahman, ar-Rahim, as-Salaam, al-Ghaffar) has led me to believe that maybe humankind doesn't need a "Savior," as such, after all. Maybe God himself is the one who saves us.
-Islam teaches that God sent prophets to many people's, all over the Earth, which could explain why so many religions teach the same thing (e.g., treat each other nicely and compassionately, be honest, don't get drunk off your ass and have promiscuous sex).
-No "Original Sin"; we're all born in a state of submission to God and an inner sense of right and wrong. (Isn't the word "fitrah"?)
-Good works (e.g., charity) and behavior (e.g., refraining from malicious gossip) have a more central place in the theology.
-Mercy, peace, and forgiveness are the ideal, but you still have the right to stand up for yourself and defend yourself.
-There is a lot of flexibility in the rules--e.g., pregnant women don't have to fast during Ramadan. I find that flexibility very important, especially as a progressive.
I spent lots of time mulling over the idea, visiting Islamic websites, watching movies, and reading when I had the time. Sometimes I would feel encouraged (e.g., when I saw the Malcolm X movie), and other times I'd feel discouraged (e.g., after visiting a very conservative Islamic website).
One very important factor that I'm really close with the Episcopal student group at my university--wonderful people whom I adore, so I continue to have concerns for how conversion will affect my relationships there. (Fortunately, I'm not particularly worried.)
I was also concerned with whether or not I'd be able to maintain stuff like prayers and fasting. I'm kinda scatterbrained, which affects my ability to keep up a regular prayer schedule, and I was unsure about my ability to maintain a fast--especially given how much I enjoy food and water!
There was also the issue of my beliefs about the Trinity--Father, Son, and Holy Ghost; what really helped me there was to realize that because I didn't really accept the idea of Original Sin in my heart anyway, because I believed in the idea of fitrah (natural sense of right and wrong), and because I realized that Allah is Himself merciful, we don't really need a "Savior." Letting go of the Trinity has had a number of positive effects for me: not having to worry constantly over who is "saved" and who is not (because Allah's mercy is sufficient for all who submit themselves to Him), developing a greater emphasis on enjoining good and forbidding evil (because good works and behavior now count for more), and being free to focus more on Prophet Jesus' (pbuh) ethical teachings and his example as a Muslim (i.e., as a submitter to the one true God).
Finally, I had my concern about other Muslims. Will they accept me? Will they be willing to "agree to disagree" on some issues? Will I be able to find fellow Muslims with whom I can relate? Will I have to worry about threats to my physical safety or life if I want to be active as a progressive gay Muslim? I'm still trying to figure out what my relationship to other Muslims will be.
Eventually, though, I came to realize that I already believe that Islam is the truth--or, at least, the most truthful of the religions I've came across. I believe in God's singular and infinite nature and in Muhammad's (pbuh) prophethood, so there was really no reason I shouldn't pronounce the shahadah ("There is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is his prophet"). I did, and it felt pretty good, and I just have to stop worrying about the little things and trust that Allah will protect and provide.
At the present time, I'm still just easing my way into a more observant lifestyle; like, I don't do alcohol or pork anymore. (Though I do plan to continue being very gay, LOL!) The prayers and the fasting are unique challenges for me, especially in the area of discipline. Then again, the little rules and details don't weigh on my mind much, since I was looking in Islam not for a rulebook to tell me what to do and when to do it (i.e., no plans to become an imitation 7th-century Arab...apologies to the fundamentalists...well, not really); rather, I was interested in it has to offer in terms of a relationship with God, and I think that's pretty darned awesome!
Ramadan Mubarak,
Chris/Bashir
Although I had already been confirmed in the Episcopal Church a little over a year ago and found the experience and the community to be very rewarding, the thought of making yet another conversion suddenly came into my consciousness. I mean, I was already open to Islam, and I felt that Christians and Jews everywhere should embrace al-Qur'an and the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) as legitimate and authentic sources regarding the will of God. (Even within the parameters of their own respective faiths.) I also found the Muslim conception of Jesus (pbuh) very interesting and compelling. I occasionally wondered what it'd be like to convert/revert* and whether (and, if so, how) my life would be different. When I heard the adhan (the Muslim call to prayer), a little part of me wanted to be there.
(*The use of the term "revert" reflects many Muslims' contention that we are all born in a state of "Islam"--submission to God--that is often taken from us as we are socialized with different values. Thus, when a non-Muslim chooses to embrace Islam, many of us say that s/he reverted, rather than converted--i.e., s/he reverted to his/her original state of Islam. Thus, I will use the term "revert" in most cases.)
Of course, there was still the problem that in Islam (unlike in Christianity and Judaism), it would be difficult to find Muslims supportive of me--that is, supportive of me as I am (i.e., gay and progressive), not as they'd like me to be. To that end, I checked out some progressive Muslim sites, which I find to be very positive. I was pleased to find out that it is possible to revert and maintain a progressive outlook--even more pleased to discover that there are LGBT reverts! Thus, I could be both a politically progressive gay person and Muslim, at least from that particular point of view.
There are many things I like about the Islamic conception of God, the cosmos, and life in general:
-You can have a direct and immediate relationship with God, without a mediator.
-God is as merciful as He is harsh (in contrast to Christianity--which sometimes, however inadvertently, makes God seem like kind of a jerk). Coming to realize more about God's merciful nature (ar-Rahman, ar-Rahim, as-Salaam, al-Ghaffar) has led me to believe that maybe humankind doesn't need a "Savior," as such, after all. Maybe God himself is the one who saves us.
-Islam teaches that God sent prophets to many people's, all over the Earth, which could explain why so many religions teach the same thing (e.g., treat each other nicely and compassionately, be honest, don't get drunk off your ass and have promiscuous sex).
-No "Original Sin"; we're all born in a state of submission to God and an inner sense of right and wrong. (Isn't the word "fitrah"?)
-Good works (e.g., charity) and behavior (e.g., refraining from malicious gossip) have a more central place in the theology.
-Mercy, peace, and forgiveness are the ideal, but you still have the right to stand up for yourself and defend yourself.
-There is a lot of flexibility in the rules--e.g., pregnant women don't have to fast during Ramadan. I find that flexibility very important, especially as a progressive.
I spent lots of time mulling over the idea, visiting Islamic websites, watching movies, and reading when I had the time. Sometimes I would feel encouraged (e.g., when I saw the Malcolm X movie), and other times I'd feel discouraged (e.g., after visiting a very conservative Islamic website).
One very important factor that I'm really close with the Episcopal student group at my university--wonderful people whom I adore, so I continue to have concerns for how conversion will affect my relationships there. (Fortunately, I'm not particularly worried.)
I was also concerned with whether or not I'd be able to maintain stuff like prayers and fasting. I'm kinda scatterbrained, which affects my ability to keep up a regular prayer schedule, and I was unsure about my ability to maintain a fast--especially given how much I enjoy food and water!
There was also the issue of my beliefs about the Trinity--Father, Son, and Holy Ghost; what really helped me there was to realize that because I didn't really accept the idea of Original Sin in my heart anyway, because I believed in the idea of fitrah (natural sense of right and wrong), and because I realized that Allah is Himself merciful, we don't really need a "Savior." Letting go of the Trinity has had a number of positive effects for me: not having to worry constantly over who is "saved" and who is not (because Allah's mercy is sufficient for all who submit themselves to Him), developing a greater emphasis on enjoining good and forbidding evil (because good works and behavior now count for more), and being free to focus more on Prophet Jesus' (pbuh) ethical teachings and his example as a Muslim (i.e., as a submitter to the one true God).
Finally, I had my concern about other Muslims. Will they accept me? Will they be willing to "agree to disagree" on some issues? Will I be able to find fellow Muslims with whom I can relate? Will I have to worry about threats to my physical safety or life if I want to be active as a progressive gay Muslim? I'm still trying to figure out what my relationship to other Muslims will be.
Eventually, though, I came to realize that I already believe that Islam is the truth--or, at least, the most truthful of the religions I've came across. I believe in God's singular and infinite nature and in Muhammad's (pbuh) prophethood, so there was really no reason I shouldn't pronounce the shahadah ("There is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is his prophet"). I did, and it felt pretty good, and I just have to stop worrying about the little things and trust that Allah will protect and provide.
At the present time, I'm still just easing my way into a more observant lifestyle; like, I don't do alcohol or pork anymore. (Though I do plan to continue being very gay, LOL!) The prayers and the fasting are unique challenges for me, especially in the area of discipline. Then again, the little rules and details don't weigh on my mind much, since I was looking in Islam not for a rulebook to tell me what to do and when to do it (i.e., no plans to become an imitation 7th-century Arab...apologies to the fundamentalists...well, not really); rather, I was interested in it has to offer in terms of a relationship with God, and I think that's pretty darned awesome!
Ramadan Mubarak,
Chris/Bashir
posted by Chris @ 12:05 AM
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